Friday, November 5, 2010

Is it just me?

Or does everything seem a little bit more beautiful today?

I couldn't get that out of my head as I drove through town today. Even lugging my 37 lb three year old into the post office didn't seem to break my smile. Yes, an errand as "simple" as a stamp run can put a damper on my day very quickly. Life's little dailys have gotten just a wee bit more difficult lately. The bigger Austin gets, the harder it gets. With the seizures it's impossible to just get him out of the car and put him down so he can walk with me. It's either the stroller (another pain) or my hip (which is begging me for the stroller). Not today. The load wasn't near as heavy or maybe I was stronger...Maybe a little of both?

That weight of "the not knowing, the what if, the when" was lifted from me today. I was stronger, I think.

The call came at 11:46 am. I had just gotten everything situated to check ketones (keto moms know what this means). I even remember what I was thinking just before I heard it ring. I thought, "Yeah, I'll bet he calls now, while I have a ketone strip end in my mouth, a urine soaked cotton ball in one hand, a syringe in the other, and Austin's bare-bottomed." No surprise there, two seconds later my phone was ringing. HA!

I pretended I was calm and exchanged the pleasantries, but my mind was screaming!!!! GET TO IT DOC!!!!

Anyway, long story short...The whole team was astounded at just how "absolutely, amazingly clear" the 3T MRI was. He said that was exactly what they were hoping for and they all agreed in favor of surgery.

Which will be (no major specifics until we meet with neurosurgeon) a left frontal lobectomy. They even said they didn't feel that any additional testing was necessary as the MRI was so amazingly defined.

We meet with Dr. Yoshor, the neurosurgeon, November 23.

I definitely have a lot more to say, but I'm still reeling and had a hard enough time just composing the facts...can't imagine interpreting what I'm feeling at the moment! Relief, disbelief, awe, anxiety, fear, satisfaction, gratitude...just to name a few.

We have more HOPE now!! The door is OPEN!!


Sophie's Story by Elaine said...

After reading your post on FB, I had to come over to find out more!!! My emotions are at an all time high for you. As this brings back so many memories for me and just imagining all the emotions that you are feeling at the moment. If you didn't live so far away, I would be on my way over to give you and Austin big hugs. It sounds so crazy to say this BUT I am so excited for you and what this means for Austin.

Jamie said...

I am telling my husband that the first million things on my mind if madie was having surgery would be terrified...and the last thing I would think would be shaving her beautyfull hair!!! xoxoxox lots of love and good prayers sent your way for austin!

devon said...

So happy to hear there is an new possibility for Austin. Praying hard for you guys for peace, comfort and discernment as all of this moves forward. I cannot imagine the weight of the next few weeks and the decisions you guys will make regarding Austin but I do trust, along side you guys, that the Lord has AMAZING plans for your little man. Praying the Lord reveals himself in big ways for you, your family and Austin!

Stacy said...

My daughter had a different type of surgery performed by Dr. Yoshor Aug, 2009. He is awesome. I know it is terrifying, especially once the surgery date gets closer and closer. He is a great surgeon. His office person, Pam, is awesome. I love, love, love her. I called a couple of times after surgery with questions and she was always very warm and made me feel like no question was a bad question. I am excited for you and hope everything goes very, very well during surgery and recovery and that the outcome is great!