Monday, November 22, 2010

Tomorrow's the day...

We will meet with the neurosurgeon, Dr. Yoshor, to discuss Austin's (potential) frontal lobectomy.

So far I'm relieved to say that I'm still relatively calm about everything. Why get too worked up until I hear what he has to say? That's what I've been telling myself...repeatedly.

It feels as if I'll be walking into this appointment with a blindfold on. Unprepared and under informed. I did my own research on this guy, and I'm comfortable with that part so far. I have not done much research on the proposed surgical procedure though. I decided to abandon the whole "internet medical degree" and go in with a fresh mind that's clear of previously read research studies and other parents' accounts. Why not be as prepared as possible? First, I couldn't find much on anything similar to Austin's case as a viable comparison. And second, because I didn't want any other studies to skew my thinking and understanding of what I'll be learning tomorrow.

This is not (at all) to say I don't have tons of questions ready to fire. And already gained knowledge from my two years of researching and following epilepsy surgeries. I just didn't think it was necessarily a good idea for me to go in with the assumption that I already know all about frontal lobectomies, or how it will affect Austin.

It could very well be just a coping mechanism rather than a game plan, but regardless, that's how it's gonna go. By coping mechanism I mean my way of not overwhelming myself before I hear it from the doctor himself. And not drawing my own conclusions and so on. One of my personality flaws is that I tend to over analyze everything. When I do that, I start to make my own assumptions and then the worry sets in.

Anyway, because I haven't spent every spare moment on googling frontal lobectomies, I am actually in a fairly peaceful state of mind. We'll just go in there and see what he says and decide from there. That's my plan. No second opinions until I speak to him, no freaking out over articles I've read that may or may not have a drop of relevance, and no false hopes.

That's it.

I'll definitely update at some point tomorrow or Wednesday.

2 comments:

happy's mommy said...

After spending 2 1/2 years googleing every spare minute away...I finally shut down when we hopped on the brain surgery ride.

I decided to just let them be the experts for once. I never even wrote my questions down. And really the only one I had was - will I lose the little boy I love and know? Dr. Sood was all assurances that I would not. And even though it took awhile to see my Trevy again...he did come back.

((((((hugs)))))))

Praying peace and wisdom over your meeting today.

...danielle

K. Johnston said...

Hi, My name is kay and I've commented here before in hopes of getting in touch with you. I know your life is busy and I understand if you don't have time to get in touch with me. But my son has west syndrome. He's 14 months. Had seizures when he was 7 months. I live in Texas and I just need someone to talk about it to, who can really relate. My email is khrystianj@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks a lot!