Friday, August 22, 2008

Beautiful Trip to Holland

I ran across this tonight...It refers to life with a disabled child. We are nowhere near that point, but it is just as accurate in describing any unexpected "change of plans" least for me and our situation with Austin dealing with IS. I still try to accept everyday that this is actually happening and that everything I had envisioned for this experience of raising our baby is going to be different. Maybe Austin has an absolutely normal childhood in store...I pray for that. But this disorder has wreaked havoc on our last three months, and I find myself angry and bitter a lot of the time. This was not the plan! But I'm having to accept it and make adjustments. Just because this is not how I pictured it to be, doesn't mean being a mother will be any less rewarding...because Austin is matter what.

Welcome to Holland

by: Emily Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability-to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip-to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later , the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease.It’s just a different place.So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. ANd you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place.

It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and youcatch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice thatHolland has windmills…and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy…andthey’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. Andfor the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever, go away…becausethe loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland.

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